Talk:Kuki Urie/@comment-213.66.199.45-20150720044424/@comment-213.66.199.45-20150720103729

^ Well, it was mostly the determination I envied, but having a neatly built frame does sound appealing as well.

It´s not like I never tried to put effort in anything risky, and regarding the body image, I did put some serious effort into improving it (or at least not letting it decay into a shameful state.)

I used to be overweigth.

and bullied a lot for it.

So one day, I just made up my mind of doing something about all those bad habits that had put me into such a state and by cutting off the root to the problem, solve it as well.

On the turn of a dime, I just quit with everything deemed unhealthy. Like fast food, white sugar and procesed food alike. Decreased the portions and started to walk every day.

Nothing else, just walking.

In three months, I lost seventy-six pounds and ended up underweight instead. And you are right in that "seeing results" is one heck of a confidence boost... I never could have imagined that it was so easy to get into shape like that, (being overweight for the majority of my life.) I could breathe easier, my body felt light as a feather, I sweated less and all my clothes became easier to get into...(best feeling ever.)

Well... all that determination and effort ended up in an eating disorder instead that almost killed me...

that and the fact that my body seemed to have developed a genetic intolerance towards white sugar as well...with lethal outcome.

(Now, if I so much as ingest a quarter of a sugar cube, My heart goes haywire and trigger a heart-attack. I discovered this condition while hosptalized, fortunate enough... so they could revive me in time.)

(Dying really hurts... I know.)

So in a way, that one time I showed determination and effort into something, it did gave me the body I wished for, but in exchange, almost killed me and permanently altered to the point where I can´t eat anything with white sugar in it or any processed foods or anything like that.. so I can´t socialize with anyone since they think I´m weird for just sitting there by the table and looking at them eating while they have their orders...

I lost all social contacts after that...

...so that´s the reward for effort. (Still maintaining my body since it has become a lifestyle at this point, healthy, but still slim like a corpse... or Torso.)

(I´m at least on the point where my life isn´t in imminent danger anyome at least.)

...

Besides that, thank you for sharing your opinion on the post I made, it was really appreciated.