Thread:Dayne Dariel/@comment-34223508-20180830215656/@comment-34223508-20180911212956

(Warning: It just took me like 2 reads to properly get what you were saying, as I'm lacking sleep recently, counted I'm short of 70% of healthy sleep the last 2 weeks)

To be honest: When you started to tell me about yourself I, as always, did not think anything of it. My friend used to cut herself, we went on a holiday at a lake for 2 weeks and everyone else there saw the cuts and knew what she was doing, but after she just told me that she got hurt there I didn't explore how she got them, I just accepted it.

But now thinking of it, I have no idea what to call it. When I do something, I usually end up being preoccupied later thinking about it. I never really had anyone to talk to about this, so that led to me developing a third-person view on myself, even if that isn't the right way to describe it. So to me, since I evaluate my own behaviour and do the same to others to get a grip on how they tick, it seems normal to me. No clue if it's normal in comparsion to others, but when I speak to others they rarely talk about themselves that openly, so yes, others might see it weird or interesting.

Secondly, I think it's a good trait to be able to see yourself like that, especially since a part of you clearly knows some things you do are shit. There are people who justify everything they do with some worthless ideals and shunt the blame on others so that they're the pretty innocent fairy dancing in dust. The refreshing part is this bit, you know you do shit, but you don't play innocent.

And as for changing your behaviour: I'm also too lazy to really change, and in the moment when I get worked up, I don't really have control either, probably the same with you, passion of the moment drags us in.

But I guess, I think it's a good thing to be able to see yourself from all sides, you know you're childish at times but you also know why you can't help it, you're conscious that some actions aren't good/are shit, so it was not weird, more interesting to hear, and a bit refreshing to see that you know what you're doing.

And yeah, as said, no idea if it's normal or not since I've never heard anyone speak like that, mostly because I never really bring up the subject with the people I talk to.

How dyou perceive me as, by the way? Most people I know think I'm friendly, childish and annoying, and I myself see myself as a sadomasochist.