Talk:Re: Chapter 72/@comment-26940038-20160409184806/@comment-10733658-20160410042251

I have to overall agree with Dalaois here, in that Touka's words did have an impact. We already saw once that he was second-guessing things, when he broke down in the locker room and told himself he'd already decided. Kaneki stating his desire to die so many times is Repetition, a method to keep himself focused on his goal. He's afraid that he will "mess up" again, and trying to keep himself from hesitating or changing his mind.

Touka's words were important because they conveyed several messages to him. I'm not 100% on what the Japanese phrasing was, but more than likely it was the sort you use when seeing a person off to work or school. So she's telling him several things:


 * There is a home for him to return to.
 * There are people waiting for him to come home.
 * She isn't forcing him, but she cares and will be waiting for him.
 * She has FAITH in him, and his ability to survive this encounter.

These are important messages for someone that is depressed and suicidal. She's telling him he isn't alone, and he is already loved. That people believe in him, and trust in him, and want to see him again. That he doesn't need to do anything to be loved and treasured by others, because he already is.

That's the reason he jokes that she is cruel. Because she offered him a glimpse of hope, when he thought he had already decided on things.

But his current wish is selfish, and isn't a rational one. He's trying to imitate Hide, without any of the genuine conviction or intentions there. He's reducing what he thinks happened to "dying in a cool way".