Talk:Eto Yoshimura/@comment-27885221-20190206024230

So i return to this page and just smile. Eto is and will always be one of my absolute favorite manga characters and also female idol. Now people remeber my old comments or not about me hating her. Yes i used to hate on her or how people viewed her. Well the truth is i can empathize and feel with her character on a deep level and somehow eto always had this magic. I tool her character very serious. There was somethjng inside her character that reminded me of a big part of myself i wanted tp avoid facing and i surpressed because it made me feel vulnerable. I can feel positive and depressing feelings when i focus on her. But yeah Eto was spmething special but unfortunately things got messed up as i felt like her character is something very outstanding which needs a special view sp instead of enjoying her character, i wasted time trying to control fans views on her like i hated seeing ships being made of her because she deserves attention for her own way and not because she is the woman of a character or when peoppe see it too shounen but in the end mile when i hated on Eto for a long time it first was my wY of coping with my part. I wanted tp avoid facing something in myself and frustrated i hated Eto and even tokyo ghoul at one pikt because ishida was really good with deep emotion. The deep level of how he displayed emotion with panels scared me. I am a man in life who likes to always be strong and supressed the sides i consider weak with ishidas writing especialy eith Eto, these wounds and fears, insexurities were triggered and i blamed the character and the series for me getting depressed but the truth was i am just messed up and it was never the series but me just being a very inballanced and self destructive individual which i am still sometimes but well. Now another troublesome thing was i actually developed romantic feelings for the Eto character but don't get me wrong i am not a weeabo or someone hacing a waifu. It was more like me desiring her qualities in someone innreality ((and i am not including her eating humans XD)) but then when i notice others say stuff about her, i always like a total maniac tried to check everyitme if the comment of an Eto fan fits my view and i am like unlile everyone else never enjoyed the series when it was actually running because ibwas so obsessed with how fans would view things. I just regret not having enjoyed the series when it was running but i was always scared of how fans react to things. Now i can finally say thw seriws anf the characters are great but many mobed on. The series is done and so yeah. I also wanna say for the case people remember me when i wrote all the hater comments it was never about the series or the character because i lobe the character and the series. It was about myself and insecurities and i am really sorry for the times where i ruinee others fun because i tried to control fans views. After my therapy about another issue unrelated to this, i can finally see how absolutley insane i was.

In the end, i know eto is my favorite charactwr and i no longer worry how others view her. Sometimes my head hurts when a cringy comment comes but that's just my head still trying to return to my old habit. And as for the romantic feelings about Eto, it is my dream of someone in real life hacing her qualities ((I don't include her eating humans but behaviour)) and maybe my depression of such a person being unreachable made me extra suffer. And yeha in the end tokyo ghool was always a great legend and when i hated i was blind actually trying to hide insecurities and just being insane. I know my comment sounds weird and mad which maybe is the case but i had to let this out my chest because otherwise i would have a bad taste in my mouth